Liquid Football - A Slicker Football Blog

Top 10 Greatest Debuts in Football

New Celtic winger Barry Robson scored a fine free-kick at the weekend on his debut for the Glasgow side, made all the more remarkable by the fact it was literally his first touch of the ball.

There have been a few other memorable debuts of late, Such as Defoe scoring in his first game with Pompey, Benjani leading Man City to a famous win in the Manchester derby, and Rolando Bianchi getting sent off within 5 minutes of his return to Lazio.

So what other introductions around the football world have managed to catch the eye? We've had a quick ruffle through our encyclopedias, newspapers and googles to come up with this top 10 list for your perusal (click the links to check out video highlights):

10. Alan Shearer, Southampton vs Arsenal, 9th April 1988

This would have been higher on the list if it was Shearer's actual debut, and not just his first full debut (he came on as a substitute against Chelsea 2 weeks earlier). Just 17 years old, he repaid Saints manager Chris Nicholl's faith by scoring a hat-trick against the Gunners. This feat broke the record for the youngest player to score a hat-trick in the English top-flight, one previously held by a certain Jimmy Greaves.

9. Hans Gillhaus, Aberdeen vs Dunfermline, 19th November 1989

The Dutch striker cost the Dons £650,000 when he joined in 1989, and was soon to be selected for the Holland 1990 World Cup squad. It took him just 12 minutes to score his first goal for Aberdeen with a spectacular overhead kick, and all but 2 minutes later grabbed his second, this time with a more traditional header. He's now living life as the Chief Scout for Chelsea.

8. Michael Mols, Rangers vs FC Haka, 28th July 1999

In this Champions League qualifying leg, the Dutchman from Utrecht simply stole the show in a 4-1 victory. Not only did he score 2, but managed to run the game by dropping back to link up with play from the midfield. £4 million was a steal for the talent that Mols was, but one serious knee injury later, and the striker was never quite the same player ever again.

7. Fabrizio Ravanelli, Middlesbrough vs Liverpool, 17th August 1996

The White Feather is one of the few players to make a huge impact on his debut, but still not be able guide his side to victory. Despite an excellent hat-trick against Liverpool, Middlesbrough were only able to manage a 3-3 draw with the Merseyside club. Unfortunately, the Premier League's top wage earner was unable to score enough goals in the remainder of the season to prevent relegation.

6. Alexandre Pato, AC Milan vs Napoli, 13th January 2008

In football, significance of the event is sometimes as important as the event itself. This was true in the case of Pato's debut last month for AC Milan in Serie A. Due to the Rossoneri paying £15 million for an unproven 17-year-old, one that potentially could become the greatest player on the planet, there was huge hype and build-up leading to his first start. But did he justify it. A lively, buzzing performance, full of tricks and performance, was rounded off with a cooly taken goal in a 5-2 victory.

5. Alvaro Recoba, Inter Milan vs Brescia, 31st August 1997

When you're making your first appearance for a club alongside a certain Ronaldo, it's going to take something special to create an impression. So which would you choose? A stunning 30 yard equaliser into the top corner, or a last-gasp free-kick to win your team the game? In Alvaro Recoba's case, he chose both, scoring 2 superb goals to give Inter a 2-1 win over Brescia en route to 2nd in Serie A. Ronaldo didn't even have a sniff.

4. Zinedine Zidane, France vs Czech Republic, 17th August 1994

If Zidane's international career ended with a bang, then it began with a cataclysmic explosion. Trailing 2-0 in a friendly with the newly formed Czech Republic, a relatively unknown, lanky midfielder takes to the field intent on turning the match around. Beating 3 defenders before lashing the ball home from 25 yards was a good start, and his bullet header to equalise wasn't a bad finish either. This was one of Zidane's best ever performances for his national team, heralding in a new era for the greatest player of our generation.

3. Tony Cottee, West Ham vs Spurs, 1st January 1983 / Everton vs Newcastle, 27th August 1988

3rd on our list is man who had 2 memorable introductions, nevermind just the one. Aged just 17, a sprightly young Cottee stuck one past West Ham's London rivals in a 1-0 victory. After smashing the British transfer record fee with a £2.3 million move to Everton 5 years later, he was up to his old debuting tricks again, bagging a hat-trick as Newcastle were demolished 4-0 on the opening day of the 88/89 season.

2. Jimmy Greaves, Various vs Various, Several dates

Goalscoring legend Greaves must have laughed in the face of defences and pressure whenever he played his first game for a new club. Not content with scoring on just one of his debuts, he decided to do it 6 times (incidentally the same amount of times he scored a hat-trick for England and finished top-scorer over a season). The teams included Chelsea, AC Milan, Spurs and West Ham, as well as the England U21 and Senior sides.

1. Wayne Rooney, Manchester United vs Fenerbahce, 28th September 2004

Coming off the back of an impressive Euro 2004, everyone was waiting to see how Wayne Rooney would fare in his 1st game for Manchester United since his £31 million signing a month earlier. Against Fenerbahce in the Champions League with a packed Old Trafford looking on, the young striker was about to be thrown into the footballing deep end. But instead of sinking, he delivered one of the greatest debut performances you are ever likely to see.

He got his 1st goal after 17 minutes when he coolly slipped the ball over Rustu in goal following Van Nistelrooy's through ball. His second came soon after, when he dummied a shot to go past one defender, before rifling the ball home from 20 yards out. Rooney completed his hat-trick 9 minutes into the second half with a sublime free-kick that gave the 'keeper no chance.

To score a hat-trick is one thing. To score a hat-trick on your debut in the Champions League with the whole world watching, is something special.

Honorable Mention - Jonathan Woodgate, Real Madrid vs Athletic Bilbao, 22nd September 2005

Of course, you don't have to perform well in order to have a memorable debut. Take poor old Johnny Woodgate for example. After being out injured for an entire season, he finally had his chance to show the Bernabeu his defensive skills against Athletic Bilbao. Instead he proceeded to score a diving header into his own net, and then get sent off for picking up 2 yellow cards. This performance may have contributed somewhat to Woodgate being voted the Worst Signing of the 21st Century by Marca.com.

Do you agree with this list? Who would have been your Number One? Have I missed anyone out? I'd like to hear your comments below.

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Champions League Final vs. Superbowl

As a fan of the original code, I'd never given much thought to watching our American counterparts' version of football. Until last night.

It was with low expectations that I began to watch the 42nd Superbowl, brought on by the British prejudice that American football is just a poor man's rugby, and the football fan's opinion that rugby is for fat kids who can't play soccer.

I was pleasantly surprised. At points I was glued to the TV, fascinated by every little detail of action. My interest was rewarded when the Giants pulled off an incredible victory in the final minute of action; a thrilling end to a thrilling encounter.

I then asked myself, was that game more enjoyable than it's European equivalent, the Champion's League final? A very good American football match, or a mediocre yet prestigious football final? Comparing the 2 matches I managed to find 5 reasons why it was... and 5 why it wasn't.

5 reasons why the Superbowl was better:

1. Awesome Ending
The Giants, 14-10 down with 2 minutes to go, have to find a touchdown soon if they want to snatch the Superbowl. Eli Manning, the Giants quarterback, shrugs off 3 defenders and delivers a perfect 32 yard pass to Tyree. Shortly after with just 59 seconds on the clock, Giants get the touchdown they need to secure victory. Enthralling.

2. Tough Players
A man can have 4 players on pile on top of him, and then still be able to get up and celebrate hanging onto the ball. In the Champion's League, if you lean on a player they'll fall over grasping their leg crying for the stretcher. Wimps.

3. Referees Can Referee
One pet hate of soccer fans is that the man in the middle can bugger up even the most basic of decisions. American football combat this by having several refs who can spot even the most minor of infringements. Letting the coaches challenge decisions also makes the game fairer.

4. Unpredictability
The Patriots were expected to walk it this year. They didn't, which added to the occassion. Compare that with last year's Champions League, when favourites AC Milan ran out 2-1 victors over Liverpool.

5. Single Moment of Genius
In the Champion's League Final, there was plenty of decent play, attacking football and chances for both sides. But the moment that defined the final was a poor attempt by Liverpool's defence to play Inzaghi offside. The Superbowl however had that terrific catch from Tyree which set up New York's final touchdown. A moment that will be played over and over again in the year to come.

5 reasons why the Champions League Final was better:

1. A Match Doesn't Last 4 Hours
I lost count of the amount of times that there was a break in play due to a time-out or change from 'offense' to 'defense'. And for some reason, there's a 2 minute stop each time the ball goes out of play. Talk about stop-start.

2. There's No Nonsense at Half-Time
The good thing about soccer, is that half-time lasts 15 minutes, and gives pundits and fans alike the chance to analyise and discuss the first half's action. The bad thing about the Superbowl is that half-time lasts twice as long, and is filled by some unnecessary concert consisting of an ageing, has-been rock band.

3. Better Trophy

Bigger = better.

4. The Match Ends When It's Supposed To.
Not one second before, causing even more palaver and time delays (sorry, but it was 3am in the UK, well past my bed time).

5. World Champions?
Winning the Champions League means that you are European champions, and rightly so considering you have to defeat the best teams from around Europe. Winning the Superbowl however means you are World champions, somewhat strangely when you've only played teams from North America.

Did anyone else watch both the Superbowl and last year's Champions League Final? Which one did you prefer to watch? Do you have any other reasons in mind why one football is better than the other? Feel free to leave your comments below:

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Who Ate All The Pies - 20 MVPs of the Premier League

Ollie over at Who Ate All The Pies has put together a list of what he feels to be the 20 most valuable players of the EPL - one from each side.

There are the usual suspects such as Ronaldo and Fabregas, along with some well-deserved mentions for Bullard and Pogatetz, the unsung heroes of the EPL. It's a decent enough list which I largely agree with... however there are some exceptions:

Blackburn Rovers
Ollie's Choice - Brad Friedel
My Choice - David Bentley

While WAATP make a good case for Friedel, I have to say that I've been very impressed with a few Rovers players this season. Samba and Santa Cruz have adapted and performed admirably in their first season, but Bentley has risen above them all. His quick wing play, devastating crosses (the most in the Premier League) and ability to score from 30 yards + gets him my vote for MVP.

Derby County
Ollie's Choice - Darren Moore
My Choice - Kenny Miller

I may be biased because I'm Scottish, but Derby have only ever looked like scoring when Miller is on the ball. He's scored over a quarter of the Ram's goals this season, has the energy of a cheetah on Red Bull, and is one of the most underrated strikers in Britain. As for Darren Moore, I've lost count of the times I've seen forwards flummox and wrong-foot the big guy before he concedes yet another goal.

Liverpool
Ollie's Choice - Fernando Torres
My Choice - Yossi Benayoun

It would be hard to argue against Torres. Liverpool needed a regular goalscorer and he has risen to the challenge superbly. It's just a shame the rest of the squad decided to start playing crap at the same time. In spite of this, it must be said that Yossi Benayoun has at times carried the Anfield side. A shrewd signing by Benitez, he is the embodiment of consistency, excellent decision-making, and a goal scoring midfielder. If it wasn't for him, Liverpool would have been much further down the table.

Newcastle United
Ollie's Choice - Charles N'Zogbia
My Choice - Shay Given

N'Zogbia started well, but to be honest he has been nothing but rubbish the past few months. Disjointed play with a tendancy to fade away in matches is not in keeping with his undoubted natural talent. Shay Given is one of the best 'keepers in the EPL, and has kept United in so many games this season. Without him, relegation could be a very real prospect.

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Fantasy Football - The Best Point For Pound Players... And The Worst

In the world of fantasy football, we'd all love to have the likes of Ronaldo, Fabregas, Drogba and Torres in our teams. But there's always that nasty transfer budget lurking around the next corner, waiting to pounce and tell you that you only have enough money left for Titus Bramble.

Because of this, we've compiled a list of the players who have the most points per million pounds, and so FF fans everywhere can become more economical, and realise that it's not really worth splashing out £15m on a certain Wayne Rooney (he made it to 196th on our list).

Points Per Million Pounds (PMP) were calcuted from the comprehensive Fantasy Football site, Squad God. It takes into account detailed stats such as shots on target and interceptions, as well as goals and clean sheets.

Economical Players

Player PMP
1. Martin Laursen 64.7
2. Sulley Muntari 50
3. Gael Clichy 47.4
4. Robert Green 39.5
5. Roque Santa Cruz 39.3
6. Vedran Corluka 38.2
7. Christopher Samba 37.3
8. Paul Scharner 37.2
9. Titus Bramble 37 (No, this is not a mistake)
10. George McCartney 36.4

And just for the hell of it, here are 10 players you should really stay clear of:

False Economy Players

1. Marc Edworthy -0.8
2. Fitz Hall -0.4
3. Radek Cerny -0.4
4. Colin Doyle -0.4
5. Moritz Volz -0.2
6. Shola Ameobi 0
7. Gary Neville 0 (will he ever be not injured?)
8. Julian Faubert 0
9. Valeri Bojinov 0
10. Jimmy Bullard 0

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Why Cristiano Ronaldo is NOT the greatest player in the world

OK, so here's the argument for Ronaldo being the creme de la creme of footballers all over the world:

Kudos to 101 Great Goals.

Pretty convincing, but here's few reasons why Portugal's pretty boy isn't a patch on some of the other talent around Europe.

1. Overhyped
Ronaldo turns out a decent performance against Newcastle, and the entire press begins waxing lyrical about how he could be the best player of all time. 4 words: Calm the hell down.

Sure, he scored a hat-trick and performed a few tricks, but it was by far a great hat-trick. His second was class, but the first bobbled over the keeper and the third took a deflection. If Rooney had a bit more luck he would have easily had a hat-trick also.

And in case anyone else hadn't noticed, playing well against Newcastle ain't that hard these days.

2. Diving
How can he be a role model when everytime he gets tapped in or just outside the box he falls quicker than Northern Rock's shares? What really takes the biscuit is the way Ronaldo gives the ref the big puppy dog eyes as if about to burst into tears.

A good player has the tricks and skills to create and score goals. A great player is a true role model to others in the game in every field. Does Ronaldo have honesty and integrity? It's most certainly up for debate.

3. Big Games
There's no denying the outstanding record of scoring 16 goals in 18 Premier League outings, but where is he when the big clubs come calling? Last season, he was practically invisible against AC Milan in the Champions League. He failed to perform at his usual high standards for Portugal against France in the World Cup, and against Greece in Euro 2004. And this season, he barely made a difference in the game against Liverpool on the so called 'Grand Slam Sunday'.

Good against lesser teams, but a great player would perform when the heat is on.

4. Humility
Racing against Bugatti Supercars? Diamond Earrings? ORANGE boots? You tell me that the man does not openly believe that he is the best thing ever to grace this Earth.

OK, maybe I'm exaggerating slightly, but it would still be nice for him to show some humility once in a while. Some of United colleagues are excellent examples of men with talent but plenty of modesty also (Giggs and Scholes come to mind).

5. Other Competition
So what players possess the skill of Ronaldo but the qualities above also? Well, Kaka', Ronaldinho, Rooney, Fabregas... just to name a few.

While these players may not have the tricks and skills to match the man with the world's fastest feet, they possess the qualities such as maturity, humility, integrity and the ability to carry a team that the Great Cristiano Ronaldo does not yet have.

And let's not forget the lesson in football Kaka' gave CR7 and his Man Utd teammates last year in the San Siro:

Case closed.

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Premier League Managers Mid-Term Report Card - Part II

Following up on Part I of our Managerial Report Card, we take a look at how well the coaches from Manchester City to Wigan Athletic have performed thus far.

Manchester City – Sven-Goran Eriksson
Position: 7th, but equal on points with 4th placed Liverpool, and have been 3rd for much of the season.
Use of Resources: Sven has spent a lot on unknown foreigners, but it has paid off for him, and in style, with Elano and Petrov being particularly effective.
Strengths: As with most Eriksson teams, Man City are solid down the middle, and have a committed defence. The Swede also has a very keen eye for a good overseas player.
Suggested Improvements: Sometimes, City have lacked the ability to deliver a killer blow to turn a draw into a victory.
Predicted Position: They should crawl out of their current slump in form and finish a strong 5th.
Overall Grade: A

Manchester United – Alex Ferguson
Position: 1st.
Use of Resources: Top of the table and playing some truly liquid football, you have to say that Fergie has got the most out of his squad.
Strengths: Building truly great teams time and time again. Clubs like Newcastle should follow Man Utd’s example of sticking with a manager.
Suggested Improvements: Very hard to pick out any, one criticism could be that would he have done so well without the millions available to him?
Predicted Position: 1st. Barring any slip-ups or Arsenal continuing strongly.
Overall Grade: A

Middlesbrough – Gareth Southgate
Position: 14th, but only 1 point from safety such is the tightness of the bottom half.
Use of Resources: He doesn’t have one of the strongest sides in the Premier League, so 14th is about where they should be.
Strengths: Getting results against teams near or below them.
Suggested Improvements: Boro need some consistency. One day they’ll be defeating Arsenal, the next they’ll be losing 3-0 to Brimingham.
Predicted Position: I can’t see Boro’ improving by the end of the season. 15th.
Overall Grade: C

Newcastle United – Sam Allardyce
Position: 11th, and 6 points behind West Ham in 10th.
Use of Resources: Sam used the money available to him, but was unable to get the best out of quality players such as Owen, Viduka, Smith and Barton.
Strengths: Allardyce was known for building strong teams with a good work ethic, but unfortunately this was not on display at Newcastle.
Suggested Improvements: Try to get your team to play with some cohesion and passion, and maybe you won’t get sacked after 8 months.
Predicted Position: 12th. I see Spurs leapfrogging them in the new year.
Overall Grade: F

Portsmouth – Harry Redknapp
Position: 9th, but with better home form should be higher.
Use of Resources: Hazza has assembled a strong, physical side that’s hard to break down. They should be scoring more though.
Strengths: Defence and outmuscling more technical sides.
Suggested Improvements: Getting a goal at home once in a while wouldn’t hurt.
Predicted Position: They’ll snap out of poor home form to overtake Blackburn by the end of the season. 8th.
Overall Grade: B+

Reading – Steve Coppell
Position: 13th. Relatively successful considering other teams who have suffered bad 2nd season syndrome.
Use of Resources: Has a weak squad compared to the rest of the EPL, so Coppell has done well to keep them this high.
Strengths: Steve is an excellent tactician, and is able to form a tightly-knit team.
Suggested Improvements: A lack of ambition, perhaps? He told his players last year not to go for a European place to avoid distraction this term.
Predicted Position: There’s no sign of Reading moving too much up or down, so they should stay around 13th.
Overall Grade: B-

Sunderland – Roy Keane
Position: 18th. After a solid start, life in the Premier League appears to have caught up with Keano’s side.
Use of Resources: With what is essentially a championship squad, anything above the relegation zone would be an achievement.
Strengths: Keane appears to have instilled a never-say-die attitude into Sunderland, with them scoring a few goals deep into injury time.
Suggested Improvements: Then again, the reason they have to score last minute goals is due to them conceding silly ones in the 1st place. There’s no point in having an £8 million ‘keeper if you can’t defend in the first place.
Predicted Position: Unless they start cutting out the mistakes, I can’t see them staying up. 19th.
Overall Grade: C

Tottenham Hotspur – Juande Ramos
Position: 12th. After a horror start to the season, Ramos has begun to turn the London club around.
Use of Resources: Given that people were talking about Spurs possibly beating Arsenal into 4th this season, 12th is slightly off expectations. But Ramos must be given time.
Strengths: Have a frightful attack consisting of the free-scoring Berbatov and Keane.
Suggested Improvements: However, they also have a frightfully awful defence. You don’t get into Europe by shipping 19 goals in 12 games.
Predicted Position: 10th. A squad of their quality should break into the top half of the table. Spurs also tend to be solid come the final few games.
Overall Grade: B-

West Ham United – Alan Curbishley
Position: 10th. Good away form but poor results at home equals mid-table.
Use of Resources: West Ham’s side is weaker than the teams above them, but stronger than the ones below, so 10th is about right.
Strengths: Playing away from home, and managing to resurrect his side from the dire position they were in last season.
Suggested Improvements: Just, get some points at home Curbs.
Predicted Position: I see them slipping down a place with Tottenham taking their place. 11th.
Overall Grade: B

Wigan Athletic – Steve Bruce
Position: 17th. Precariously above the relegation zone, but Steve Bruce will be happy if they’re there come May.
Use of Resources: Bruce has actually done a decent job with the squad he’s got. Wins over Spurs, Newcastle and Sunderland, as well as draws with Man City and Liverpool have propelled the Latics into safety... for now.
Strengths: Bruce’s team has a habit of grinding out results, an essential trait when in a relegation dogfight.
Suggested Improvements: With the team that Bruce has, it would be unfair to criticise given their recent run of relatively good results.
Predicted Position: 17th. If they keep up this good run, they’ll stay up.
Overall Grade: B+

Liquid Football’s Predicted Final League Table

1. Manchester United A
2. Arsenal A+
3. Chelsea B+
4. Liverpool C-
5. Manchester City A
6. Aston Villa B+
7. Everton A-
8. Portsmouth B+
9. Blackburn Rovers B-
10. Tottenham Hotspur B-
11. West Ham United B
12. Newcastle United F
13. Reading B-
14. Birmingham City B-
15. Middlesbrough C
16. Fulham ?
17. Wigan Athletic B+
18. Bolton Wanderers C+
19. Sunderland C
20. Derby County C

What do you think of the grades I’ve given out? Too harsh, too lenient, or spot on? And what about the final league table? Leave your comments below.

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Premier League Managers Mid-Term Report Card - Part I

So, we’re exactly half-way through the Premier League season, and it has been a tight and thoroughly exciting affair.

We’ve seen the maturing of young stars such as Fabregas and the return of old ones like Shevchenko. Man Utd stuttered and then blossomed to lead the way, with the impressive Arsenal just behind, while others like Newcastle and Tottenham have greatly underachieved. Some great games have been played (4-4 draw between Chelsea and Villa springs to mind), and some dour ones too (Fulham vs Newcastle anybody?).

But what about the managers? Have they used their resources available to their best ability? How well have they spent in the transfer market? And do they have the steel and nerve essential to survive and thrive in one of the world’s hardest leagues? Here is Part I of Liquid Football’s mid-term Premier League report card:

Arsenal – Arsene Wenger
Position: 1st place pretty much since the beginning of the season. No room for improvement here.
Use of Resources: Wenger has some fantastic talent at his disposal, and given how they all work together to create wonderful synergy and free-flowing football is testament to the Frenchman’s ability to get the most out of his players.
Strengths: Getting the most out of his team, sticking by his players and giving youngsters a chance. French youngsters but still.
Suggested Improvements: Arsene needs to cut out the hypocrisy and 2-facedness . Saying that the English national team needs an English coach before praising Capello’s appointment seems slightly odd.
Predicted Position: 2nd at the very least.
Overall Grade: A+

Aston Villa – Martin O’Neill
Position: A respectable 7th, Villa’s form will see them challenging for a UEFA cup place.
Use of Resources: O’Neill has a solid squad, and manages to utilise them into a tight unit that is hard to break down. Seems to get the best out of his ex-Celtic underlings.
Strengths: Signing relatively quality players such as Carson, Bouma and Carew on the cheap, as well as slowly building a team over time rather than rushing into the market with chequebooks blazing. Deadpan humour during interviews makes him a favourite with the press too.
Suggested Improvements: On the other hand however, O’Neill perhaps needs to be more ambitious in the transfer market more often. If Lerner is willing to pay, this may be the chance to push Villa forward to more successful territory. Then again, look what happened to Leeds...
Predicted Position: With Everton decimated for the African Cup of Nations, they should leapfrog them for a UEFA cup spot and 6th.
Overall Grade: B+

Birmingham City – Alex McLeish
Position: 16th, although under the form of McLeish they could have been about 14th. Good considering staying up is the main priority.
Use of Resources: McLeish has adapted quickly to his new surroundings and has been able to get the Blues playing some solid stuff. However, the recent defeat to Huddersfield in the FA Cup leaves a nasty stain on this report.
Strengths: From his time with Scotland, McLeish’s ability to take a group of players, gel them and have them playing attractive football is evident. Whether or not he can replicate that with Birmingham remains to be seen.
Suggested Improvements: McLeish left hastily his national team when the opportunity for more money arose, so can his loyalty be questioned?
Predicted Position: Lower mid-table, I’ll take a stab at 14th.
Overall Grade: B-

Blackburn Rovers – Mark Hughes
Position: A good start to the season saw them rise high, but form has dipped and so has their position to 9th. But still in touching distance of UEFA places.
Use of Resources: The front pairing of Santa Cruz and McCarthy has worked a dream from Hughes, and Sparky has managed to use his team’s physical side to good effect.
Strengths: Tells it how it is, you get the feeling that his no-nonsense attitude transfers well to his players. Has managed to turn Bentley into one of the brightest young talents in the Premier League.
Suggested Improvements: He really needs to learn the offside rule. Now. It’s not hard Sparky. If he touches the ball he’s active. If he doesn’t he’s not. Stop moaning.
Predicted Position: Pompey’s home form should return, so I don’t see them reaching any higher than their current position of 9th.
Overall Grade: B-

Bolton Wanderers – Gary Megson
Position: 14th
Use of Resources: Megson has done brilliantly to take a down-hearted, underperforming and frankly rubbish team out of the relegation zone. The question is, will Bolton be able to stay out of danger?
Strengths: Motivating and organising. Wanderers appear to have a bit of get up and go about them, and even managed to hold Bayern Munich to a 2-2 draw in Germany. No mean feat.
Suggested Improvements: When they lose Anelka (sorry, if), they’ll have a serious hole up front. Megson needs to get a quality striker in, and fast.
Predicted Position: Bolton have stuttered recently after the honeymoon period, and I can only see them going down come the business end of the season. 18th.
Overall Grade: C+

Chelsea – Avram Grant
Position: 3rd. Has admirably steadied the Stamford Ship after Jose’s departure, and has set his sights on the top 2.
Use of Resources: With the talent available to him at Chelsea, Grant has done well, but should really be aiming to be top. Room for improvement.
Strengths: Contrary to his dour expression and exterior, ‘The Normal One’ has rejuvenated Chelsea with some free-flowing attacking football as well as being solid at the back. Seems to also excel at silencing critics who gave him no hope before he was given a chance (I’ll hold my hands up here).
Suggested Improvements: Needs to tell his players to calm down when decisions go against them. The behaviour of some of his squad has at times been unacceptable and unprofessional. Results against other members of the big 4 have let him down also.
Predicted Position: They’ll be 3rd at least, but at the most as well barring a massive slip up from Arsenal or Man Utd.
Overall Grade: B+

Derby County – Paul Jewell
Position: 20th. Rock bottom and not getting out fast enough. Hardly Jewell’s fault considering he’s only been in the job for a month.
Use of Resources: To be honest, the quality of Derby’s players is not enough to survive in the Premier League. Therefore, Jewell can be forgiven for not improving results of late.
Strengths: Very good when it comes to relegation scraps, saving Wigan and Bradford from the drop previously. He has made some positive signings already this month (Robert, Savage and perhaps Carroll) but time will tell if this is enough to save them.
Suggested Improvements: Derby need to stop conceding last minute goals, get a central defensive partnership who can defend, and some passing skills wouldn’t go amiss.
Predicted Position: Sorry Paul, I can’t see your team reaching 10 points by the end of the season, let alone making up 10 points.
Overall Grade: C

Everton – David Moyes
Position: 6th. Just goes to show what can happen when you stick with a manager.
Use of Resources: Defensively, Moyes has done very well to create a solid unit comprising of players not many other teams would bother to sign. The same goes for his midfield, but up front only Yakubu really takes the eye.
Strengths: Building a team over time, and making it clear what he wants from each man. Has an eye for a good youngster/signing.
Suggested Improvements: Find players that are good but not African! Everton won’t possess the same quality without Yobo, Yakubu and Pienaar.
Predicted Position: I see them slipping down a place to Aston Villa. 7th.
Overall Grade: A-

Fulham – Roy Hodgson
Position: 19th, although more Sanchez’s fault really.
Use of Resources: Hard to tell, given that he’s only been in charge for 2 games.
Strengths: Again hard to tell. From past experience it’s clear that he can make a solid unit from pretty much any side.
Suggested Improvements: Again from looking at his previous clubs, attacking and scoring goals doesn’t appear to be Hodgson’s forte.
Predicted Position: 16th. Hodgson’s vast experience with all sorts of footballing situations should guide Fulham to safety.
Overall Grade: ?

Liverpool – Rafael Benitez
Position: 4th
Use of Resources: Not too sharp. With the amount that Rafa spent over the summer and the huge squad available to him, Liverpool should be higher than 5th. Full stop.
Strengths: Playing well in Europe suits Benitez’s continental style of play, and the Spanish signings that he’s made seem to play well under him.
Suggested Improvements: A bit more bite and consistency needed, and less spats with the owners would probably help inter-club relationships... and the odds that he’ll be still be manager come the end of the season.
Predicted Position: Liverpool will overtake Man City, but may not find the consistency required to get past Chelsea. 4th.
Overall Grade: C-

What do you think of the grades I’ve given out? Too harsh, too lenient, or spot on? Leave your comments below.

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The African Exodus... Who Will Suffer?

The African Cup of Nations kicks off in a couple of weeks’ time, sparking a mass evacuation of some of England’s top Premier League talent. So which club will be worst affected by the ‘most poorly timed competition of the year’? We assess each leaving player’s value using our own 5 star rating system, and what the total effect will be on each Premier League club.

5 Star Rating:

5 stars – Vital to the team. Irreplaceable.
4 stars– First team player. Has an able deputy.
3 stars – Bench player. Usually brought on during a game.
2 stars – Bench player. Not used very often.
1 star – Not in the squad. Won’t be missed at all.

The Teams:

Arsenal

Emmanuel Eboue – 4 stars
Kolo Toure – 5 stars
Alexandre Song – 2 stars
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Total – 11 stars

Arsenal have solid back up in the form of Rosicky for Eboue, who looked off form against Burnley, however Toure will be sorely missed. Senderos is a solid back up, but does not have the same defensive qualities as the Ivorian. As a whole they should still be able to function as a free-flowing attacking machine.

Birmingham City

Richard Kingson – 2 stars
Radhi Jaidi – 3 stars
Mehdi Nafti – 4 stars
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Total – 9 stars

Birmingham will only seriously miss Nafti out their 3 Africans, having put in some good performances for City this season. However, they should have enough midfield cover to cope with his loss.

Blackburn Rovers

Aaron Mokoena – 3 stars
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Total – 3 stars

Only one gone for Blackburn, they should be able to cope fine with their current 1st team.

Bolton Wanderers

Abdoulaye Meite – 4 stars
El Hadji Diouf – 5 stars
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Total – 9 stars

Only 2 players gone for Bolton, but 2 massive players at that. Meite has been a rock in front of the back 4 for the Wanderer’s so their already fragile defence will be even more exposed. And with the absence of arguable their most creative player in Diouf, they could be in real trouble upfront as well.

Chelsea

Michael Essien – 5 stars
Didier Drogba – 5 stars
Salomon Kalou – 4 stars
Jon Obi Mikel – 4 stars
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Total – 18 stars

Chelsea could be in trouble. The best striker in the Premier league, his back up, arguably the best defensive midfielder in England and a talented young midfielder have all jetted off, leaving huge gaps of world class quality throughout the team. It appears as if the African Cup of Nations has come at just the wrong time for Chelsea’s title push.

Everton

Joseph Yobo – 4 stars
Yakubu Aiyegbeni – 5 stars
Victor Anichebe – 3 stars
Steven Pienaar – 4 stars
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Total – 16 stars

Everton will be in a similar boat to Chelsea, missing 3 1st team players, notably their best defender in Yobo, their best striker in Yakubu, and one of their more dynamic midfielders in Pienaar. Expect Everton to suffer a dip in their otherwise excellent form.

Fulham

Diomansy Kamara – 3 stars
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Total – 3 stars

Fulham should be fine with David Healy and Hammeur Bouazza up front.

Liverpool

Momo Sissoko – 2 stars
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Total – 2 stars

If anything, the Malian’s departure will allow space on the bench for someone with greater quality.

Middlesbrough

Mohamed Shawky – 1 star
Mido – 1 star
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Total – 2 stars

In Boro’s case, what ain’t used... ain’t missed.

Newcastle United

Obafemi Martins – 5 stars
Geremi – 4 stars
Habib Beye – 4 stars
Abdoulaye Faye – 2 stars
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Total – 15 stars

What Big Sam would not have wanted. His captain and top striker to be absent for 3 weeks while the club plummets down the Premier League table faster than it takes for St. James’ Park to exit. Can Owen step up to the plate in his striking partner’s absence?

Portsmouth

Sulley Muntari – 4 stars
Nwankwo Kanu – 3 stars
John Utaka – 4 stars
Papa Bouba Diop – 4 stars
Djimi Traore – 1 star
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Total – 16 stars

Take away 3 of your most powerful and forceful midfielders, and you’ll be left with not much physical element to your side. Pompey thrive on this, and so could for once get out muscled in the middle of the park, perhaps costing them control of games.

Reading

Emerse Fae – 2 stars
Andre Bikey – 2 stars
Ibrahima Sonko – 4 stars
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Total – 8 stars

In truth, the Royals will only miss Sonko, and he’ll be adequately replaced during his tenure away. Don’t expect much change at Reading.

Sunderland

Dickson Etuhu – 4 stars
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Total – 4 stars

Roy Keane could have done with the Nigerian’s solid performances in the middle for Sunderland during this crucial winter period, but with the Irishman looking to strengthen across his whole team this January, he will hope to find an ideal replacement.

Tottenham Hotspur

Didier Zokora – 3 stars
Hossam Ghaly – (-1) stars
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Total – 2 points

Zokora faded out of the picture for a few games under new boss Ramos, but was drafted in for the last 2 and performed admirably. However the marauding Tom Huddlestone should provide ample foil. As for Ghaly, he gets negative stars, as the team would probably train better anyway without his petulant attitude.

West Ham United

John Pantsil – 2 stars
Henri Camara – 2 stars
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Total – 4 stars

Neither player has made any sort of impact at Upton park this season, so don’t expect Alan ‘Curbs’ Curbishley to be seeing them off at Heathrow airport with a bunch of flowers and a ‘Come Home Soon’ card.

The End Result?

Arsenal’s slight weakness at the back could see Manchester Utd leapfrog them. Chelsea should be caught by Liverpool due to the loss of Drogba and Essien, while Everton may slip down the table with Villa and Blackburn leapfrogging them before the end of the tournament arrives.

Pompey’s lack of goals at home won’t be helped by a decimated midfield, and Bolton could sneak into the relegation zone without 2 of their key players. As for Sam Allardyce and Newcastle, expect the odds to be slashed on him being handed his P45 come February.

What do you think will happen to the teams suffering from their African-born players? Will they drop or stand firm? And do you agree or disagree with the ratings given above? Feel free to leave your comments below.

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Spaniards Playing For England?!?

Peroxide addict and Arsenal goalkeeper Manuel Almunia recently sent out a 'pick me!' call to new England manager Fabio Capello, as the Spaniard will be eligible to play for England in a year's time.

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