Me. Apparently. After all due to my lack of foresight I will be unable to watch what will surely be one of the most defining and grandioso weekends in the English football calendar.
Instead of sitting down at Bert's Bar with a pint in one hand and semi-willing girlfriend in the other, eagerly anticipating Super-Uber-Duper-Gluber-Juper Sunday (or whatever Sky calls it these days), I will be rolling eggs down hills, and listening to my grandmother regale of many an Easter gone by. I find it hard to imagine greater hells.
That last sentence was perhaps a tad strong. I find it incredible easy to imagine greater hells. One such occassion being when I forgot that the Champions League Final was on the same night that I was meant to be judging some sodding school talent contest. This was made all the more worse that it was THAT final between Milan and Liverpool.
So, in order that I (and you dear reader) might avoid precious family meet-ups and meaningless social events with some sort of "illness" or "prior engagement", I've compiled a list of 8 dates that you absolutely cannot miss. If you take your football seriously, write these down in your diary. Now.
Sunday 23rd March - Chelsea v Arsenal / Man Utd v Liverpool
Grand Slam Sunday. Chelsea could turn the table on its head by leapfrogging Arsenal and potentially Man Utd in the space of a few hours.
Saturday 5th April - Arsenal v Liverpool
The 2nd of 3 back-to-back meetings between the two sides. So much at stake for both sides in the league as well as the previous game will make this a cracking encounter.
Tuesday 8th April - Liverpool v Arsenal
The key second leg should set up a tie with Chelsea for a place in the Champions League Final.
Sunday 13th April - Man Utd v Arsenal
Arsenal's final real test in the league. This could either seal their death, or seal the EPL title. The same scenario applies for the Red Devils...
Saturday 26th April - Chelsea v Man Utd
...except that this will be their final test. You can almost guarantee that the outcome of this game will have a seismic bearing on the outcome of the league.
Tuesday 29th / Wednesday 30th April - Man Utd v Barcelona
A speculative fixture, but if both teams progress against their quarter-final opponents as expected, mouths will water at the prospect of Europe's 2 most attractive football teams go head to head for a place in the CL final.
17th May - Portsmouth / West Brom v Barnsley / Cardiff
A chance to see one of the Big Four NOT lift the coveted FA Cup... and an opportunity for a Championship side to grab glory in a competition that has been full of upsets.
21st May - Chelsea v Barcelona
If the bookies are to be trusted, these two rivals will face each other again in Europe's premier soccer competition, but this time for the trophy itself. It could also be Liverpool v Man Utd, Chelsea v Roma, or perhaps Shalke v Fenerbahce. Any way, it'll be a cracking contest.
I think the main message here is keep every weekend free and most midweeks off. The run-in is going to be one of the greatest of all time.